New Years EVE

If only I had a magic wand....

If I only I had  a magic wand… … I would instantly turn myself into a more confident and less fearful person.  Someone a little more like the person I married. … I would find a way...

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Tag Archives: marriage


New Years EVE

  It’s Day 6 of 2013 and I’m just now getting down to my New Year’s tradition of contemplation where I sit down and consider the previous year.   No, I haven’t been drunk since New Year’s Eve (well, not the …

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Happy Anniversary!

confused number

   I am numerically challenged and it should be put on a t-shirt or I should have to wear some special identification bracelet or something in case I end up in a ditch somewhere.  I’m not talking about math, though, …

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Our stay-at-home-vacation in Florida

Florida vacation

  HUSBAND comes in, “I’m tired.”  “Well, I’m tired too,” I reply, “but it is 10:15 at night.” (We were standing in front of the microwave heating up dinner which is my version of cooking after 5.)  “I have an idea,” …

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flash mob dance

HUSBAND was going on an overnight fishing trip which means several things to me. First and most importantly, I GET THE BED TO MYSELF!!  Now if you haven’t been married 427 years like I have, this may not seem like …

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The marriage ride

roller coaster

    The wheels bump and chug along the narrow metal rails as I grit my rattling teeth and squeeze my eyes into narrow slits.  My knees are elevated higher than my head and our backs are pressed so hard …

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home and sleep

Home (The objective of the exercise:  write about Home without writing about a house) Home, true home, is not the brick and mortar walls where I spend my time, the address you will find in those unnecessary phone books that …

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Love? Bah humbug!

I’ve lost faith in love.  This remark may seem strange coming from a 30 year veteran of the biggest institution built specifically for the stuff.  But with seemingly good marriages falling apart and people throwing away stale love like a …

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  • Whale or Mermaid?

    Mermaid or Whale?

    I "borrowed" this from a friend. It's an email that was circulating a few years ago. Don’t know who wrote it so I can’t cite the contribution. If you find out, let me know.

    Recently in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid

    or a whale?”

    A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

    To Whom It May Concern,

    Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

    They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

    Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

    The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

    P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

    So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

    Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"