quarrel

If only I had a magic wand....

If I only I had  a magic wand… … I would instantly turn myself into a more confident and less fearful person.  Someone a little more like the person I married. … I would find a way...

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Tag Archives: fear

What’s LOVE got to do with it?

quarrel

  Just ask anyone. HUSBAND and I are the nicest people in the world; friendly, supportive, caring and generous.  We have friends that love us and we love them just as much.  All types of people come to us with …

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Announcing exciting news!!!

mirror kiss

It was a little less than a year ago that I gazed in the mirror, the horrible, harshly lit, magnifying beast that makes my pores look like dinner plates.  And that’s when I saw it.  I admit that it didn’t …

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Help! They’re trying to steal my soul!

scared cat

Help!  They’re trying to steal my soul!  I don’t really believe this, but still I react to a camera like it’s an all you can eat buffet for liver sushi.  I scrunch up my face, break out in an actual …

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What’s YOUR calling?

calling

In case you haven’t heard, Oprah Winfrey stepped down!  Her show is over!  And for the final commencement show after 25 years on the air, everyone was buzzing.  What will she talk about?  Who will be there?  Will rainbow colored …

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Ch-ch-ch-changes

change-architect-sign1

  It was one of those days that felt like it had been created as a gift to me.   Everything from the perfect cup of coffee when I woke to the soft sound of crickets as I sat on the evening …

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In praise of… optimism

optimism

Optimism is a bowl of jelly without the bowl, slippery and oftentimes unable to grip even with both hands extended.  It slips through our hands with the announcement of some national tragedy or by the act of sliding a credit …

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Worry wart

worry

I’ve become heavy with worry, exhausted and infected to my very core with it.  It invades my sleep, my meals, even my sex life.  Worry, worry, worry!  And most of it is completely needless, a constant rehashing of should haves, …

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Behind the mask

mask

After coming up hard against another wall in my novel and beating myself up for months about my inadequacies, I finally enlisted the help of a writing coach.  Nervously I prepared for our first meeting, wondering what to expect.  Mostly …

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The marriage ride

roller coaster

    The wheels bump and chug along the narrow metal rails as I grit my rattling teeth and squeeze my eyes into narrow slits.  My knees are elevated higher than my head and our backs are pressed so hard …

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The parenting heebie-jeebies

fear

It all starts microscopically, a fusion of tiny cells that grow unseen in a dark place.  But make no mistake because long before you are retching over your first bout with morning sickness, these womb visitors are going to change …

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  • Whale or Mermaid?

    Mermaid or Whale?

    I "borrowed" this from a friend. It's an email that was circulating a few years ago. Don’t know who wrote it so I can’t cite the contribution. If you find out, let me know.

    Recently in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid

    or a whale?”

    A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

    To Whom It May Concern,

    Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

    They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

    Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

    The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

    P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

    So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

    Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"