magic wand

If only I had a magic wand....

If I only I had  a magic wand… … I would instantly turn myself into a more confident and less fearful person.  Someone a little more like the person I married. … I would find a way...

Write Stuff
magic wand

If I only I had  a magic wand… … I would instantly turn myself into a more confident and less fearful person.  Someone a little more like the person I married. … I would find a way to eat pasta AND …

sabrina bilter says:
If I had a magic wand our entire family would get together once a week but once... more
Amy Gump says:
:) ditto, Tim more

Mid life crisistop comments

midlifecrisis main

I’d like to make a confession.  Don’t get too concerned.  As far as confessions go, this one is a little less dramatic than watching paint dry (except maybe to my writing coach –sorry, Jamie-  or to the few fans that …

sabrina bilter says:
I really enjoyed ready that Amy. Wonderful and I agree totally. You put it into... more
Tim Chastain says:
I can see! I can see! Now I can let you know that I am glad you are blogging... more

2012top comments

New Years EVE

  It’s Day 6 of 2013 and I’m just now getting down to my New Year’s tradition of contemplation where I sit down and consider the previous year.   No, I haven’t been drunk since New Year’s Eve (well, not the …

There are no comments, click here be the first one!

 As suggested by the “Part 2” in the title, this is a continuation of  “For crying out loud, it’s just a bath already! (part 1)”  Haven’t read Part 1?  STOP!  Go back and read Part 1 before continuing.  Seriously.  Go …

Amy Gump says:
FINALLY! Today. Thanks, Tim! more
Tim Chastain says:
Hi Amy! Your blog posts are always so enjoyable. When will there be another... more

For crying out loud… it’s only a BATH!!! (part 1)


I’m a shower girl, a lather and dash creature. But one day, I stumbled onto this article about the benefits of soaking, and since it made bathing out to be as delicious as a hot fudge sundae, I found myself …


The people you meet in the gym


               Exercise is tough.  Which is probably why they don’t call it something fun like “hot fudge sundae” or “fluffy kitten time”.  First of all, just pulling on the sports bra is akin to water torture and enough to work …


Why John Walton is sooooo much better than Charles Ingalls

john charles

I’m sure I will receive a great deal of dispute from my girlfriends on this subject.  After all, it is agreed that Michael Landon is a bit of a dish.  Still, after reviewing the facts and such, I have to …


I’ll be back before you know it!

Be Back Soon

In an effort to finish this novel by the June deadline, I am on a grueling writing schedule.  The good news is that (finally) the novel will be complete!  The bad news is that I have little time to keep …


The Last Week of Christmas


It’s the last week of Christmas… The gifts are all wrapped with red satin bows And the house has been cleaned so well that it glows There’s still a cookie or two on the red Christmas plate To join the …


Wednesday…Just the facts, please. (I actually got them done on WEDNESDAY!)


Fast facts is an idea copied from my friend Lisa Sanders… visit her blog here: In honor of the season, which inside my house looks a bit like Christmas on steroids, these December ones are dedicated to the holidays.  Both kitty …

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  • Whale or Mermaid?

    Mermaid or Whale?

    I "borrowed" this from a friend. It's an email that was circulating a few years ago. Don’t know who wrote it so I can’t cite the contribution. If you find out, let me know.

    Recently in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid

    or a whale?”

    A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

    To Whom It May Concern,

    Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

    They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

    Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

    The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

    P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

    So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

    Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"